My friend Balduino has just left my house after coming over to do some work on his website. He’s from Caracas, Venezuala and naturally he has this overwhelming spanish accent when he speaks english. He works as a theatre peformer and is quite a talented artist so I am helping get a site up where he can advertise his performances and display a gallery of his artistic peices. (I’ll put the link up here when it’s ready for display). The funny thing about Balduino is, whenever he speaks to women, they hear his spanish accent and become putty in his hand. It’s like he has this powerful ability to control their minds and make them hand over phone numbers without them realising they are even doing it. Now I have an Australian accent, and there is a bit of a myth that Aussie accents have some sort of seductive power like Spanish ones, but I’ve never seen any evidence of it. At best an Australian accent is a conversation starter; something that gets people interested and chatting about where I’m from and how I ended up in Amsterdam. Balduino on the other hand, when he starts talking you can see girls go wet between the legs and they become mesmerised at the sound of his voice. God it’s enough to make you want to throw up really. I tried to fake a Spanish accent once (I was pretty drunk at the time) – allo… mine namee iz Andaroo, I am phrom Brizbain! Somehow it just didn’t come out Spanish sounding but instead like I had a speech impediment possibly caused by a stroke or mental retardation. The girl I tried it on looked at me like I was dribbling down the front of my shirt and left rather quickly. I was annoyed that when Balduino used the exact same line – except for using his real name and not mine – 7 seconds later he had a phone number from a hot looking French chick.
So I’m really trying to work out just what the hell it is about Spanish accents that rob a woman of 90 percent of her common sense and turn her into a goey mess!? Someone in Nasa should take a few million dollars and conduct some sort of scientific experiment to get some answers because I’ve seen this happen so many times with Balduino that I just have to know what the trick is so I can do it for myself. I wonder if a course in Spanish and some self tanning cream might do the trick?
Padwanna 
The Spanish accents and female mind control by Mentalechoes, unless otherwise expressly stated, is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
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