Mentalechoes

Sunday morning I’m waking up
Can’t even focus on a coffee cup
Don’t even know who’s bed I’m in
Where do I start Where do I begin …
The Chemical Brothers, “Where Do I Begin”.

It’s a been a while since I’ve had a hangover this bad. I don’t normally do hangovers anymore because I just don’t drink often anymore. Or not as often as I did back in my 20’s. But last night I went around to a mates place, and got stuck into his vodka supply. Not just any old crap either! This brand comes straight out of Russia and has a whole big lot of Russian marketing on the back that I’m sure when translated to English says something like: WARNING, THIS SHIT IS LETHAL, SO DON’T DRINK HALF THE BOTTLE, OR YOU’LL REALLY FEEL LIKE CRAP THE NEXT MORNING! Yeah well, not much point knowing that after the fact!

Some social nights though, it just feels good to get plastered! There’s something very therapeutic in getting smashed, and speaking total bollocks to friends. Maybe it’s that regressing back to childhood that is so enjoyable and refreshing for your soul. I suppose it depends on what kind of drunk you are though. Me, I’m one of those happy ones that just speaks a lot of shit and laughs a lot and finds everyone in the room to be his best friend. God, if only the morning after wasn’t such a rotten mess. Yeah well, I’m not a regular binge drinker so I can cope with feeling like shit for a half day. I bet though any Americans who read this probably think I am an alcoholic and should seek counselling immediately, and any English people who read this probably think I’m a fun guy who had a good weekend! That’s really one of the fundamental differences I see between Americans and English; Americans see excess and excessive behaviour as bad (maybe evil), whereas the English see excessive behaviour as the proper way to have a good time! Yeah well, what do I know of America and Americans?! I only know of the people from what I see on TV and movies as I’ve never been there. I’ve lived in London for two years, and my closest friends still live there who I visit a lot, plus I was drinking with some Brits last night, so I know the Brits pretty well!

But I digress (bloody easy to do on a hangover). I feel like I’ve got the attention span of a mongoloid stapler! I don’t think I should operate any heavy machinary today. So no driving a DC-9 earth mover, or fuck off big mining truck. A small hovercraft would be alright though. I wonder where I could get my hands on one of those at 9.30am on a Sunday morning? Actually there’s another difference between America and England I reckon; you probably can get your hands on a hovercraft in the US on a sunday morning… maybe even in bible country where they stone people to death for working on the sabbath. It’s totally a service oriented country. In England though, forget it! You’d be luckier than two lucky things to buy a bag of frozen peas to stick on your head to soothe your hangover from the binge drinking the night before.

Now I’m awake there are a few possibilities ahead of me for the day. I can either go back to bed and try to sleep some more, but I know I won’t be able to, so I’m not even going to try. I could sit here at the computer and do something vaguely useful or entertaining, but just sitting up is hurting my head! (I don’t even know why I’m writing this blog to be honest! Maybe it’s because when I have hangovers I really love to speak shit to somebody, but nobody is here with me, so writing shit for youse all is the next best thing). But I digress… again… No I think the only thing to do now is to head to the couch and put on a divx and drink some water and let the next few hours pass which will hopefully take the edge of that fucking knife which keeps slicing across my forebrain, making my eye twitch!

Here’s hoping youse all had a nice Saturday night out like I did, and you’re not suffering as bad!

Padwanna.