Mentalechoes

I called up the bank today to organise a small line of credit to pay for a new hot water (slash) central heating system today, and before I had made the call I was a bit worried if they would loan me the money. I am not really a rich person, and I thought perhaps they might make a bit of a hoo-hah about it. But all my worries were for naught because as it turns out, banks love putting you in debt, and will do everything they can to convince you debt is good. My conversation with the nice loan officer chick went something like this.

Me: Hello I’d like to borrow one thousand three hundred euro please to pay for my new hot water (slash) central heating system installation.
Nice Loan Officer Girl: Certainly sir, let me first ask you some questions. Do you currently bank with us?
Me: Yes I do, I have two bank accounts.
NLOG: Would you like another one with your loan? (It must be the ‘do you want fries’ equivalent in the banking world)
Me: No just the loan will be fine.
NLOG: Do you have permanent employment?
Me: Yes I do (and I provide the details).
NLOG: Alright and how much do you want to borrow?
Me: Umm… well is it alright if I borrow one thousand three hundred euros… please?
NLOG: Well I will just do a quick credit check.
… some tapping of keys in the background… and me biting my fingernails…
NLOG: (She sounds very happy now)… Mr McDowell are you sure you only want one thousand three hundred euros? Because we would be very happy to loan you twenty seven thousand eight hundred euros!
Me: Holy shit!!! Are you serious?!
NLOG: Pardon me.
Me: Never mind! No just one thousand three hundred euro will be fine.
NLOG: But the interest rate is the highest on trivial amounts. I would advise you to take a line of credit for at least two thousand five hundred euro.
Me: Well… (some silence as I think about it)…
NLOG: Actually taking five thousand is even cheaper.
Me: It’s okay, I will take the two thousand five hundred option.
NLOG: Very well. But if you change your mind and you want more please don’t hestitate to call up and ask me… for up to twenty seven thousand eight hundred euro. We will have your contract in two days. Have a nice afternoon.

So now the bank owns me… to the tune of two and a half grand. And all the while they smiled as I signed in blood (figuratively speaking) and promised them my eternal soul.

At this point, I couldn’t care less if it means a new hot water (slash) central heating system! Because by god, my place will be a frozen hell in but a few short weeks if I don’t get that contraption installed.

How easily we prostitute ourselves in the name of staying warm and comfy in the European winter! I am such a slut!

Padwanna!