Mentalechoes

You know it’s funny how fate sometimes brings wierdos back into your life that you had thought you’d left behind. Whenever this happens I always wonder whether there is some deep significance to it, or if it’s just a cruel coincidence. About a month ago I came into the office where I work, and I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw who was sitting in a rolley chair just spitting distance from my workstation! It was a wierdo collegue from a company I worked for like two and half years ago. For the sake of the story lets call him G-man.

Now when I originally met G-man at this first company I immediately picked him as some special breed of mongoloid! He would wear black leather pants to the office with socks and sandals and a beret. Okay, sure some people are total fashion victims and can’t coordinate anything you would consider socially acceptable, but leather pants with sandals and socks! What the fuck, mate!? Then there was the day he really earned his place in my special wierdo mong list when he complained that our office space was too hot and we should turn the thermostat down from 22 to 21. Other people very patiently suggested he might take off his long sleeve sweater if he felt it was too hot. G-man not agreeing with this course of action then went to the WHO website and found some obscure reference to the optimum room temperature being 21, which he then took directly to the CEO, bypassing every other manager, to make his case for the 1 degree change. The CEO more concerned with running a multimillion euro high tech ISP came into our room and asked if we were comfortable, to which we replied we were, and told G-man to take his jumper off. G-man then grumbled like a 5 year old for the next two months at having to put up with these sweltering temperatures. He never did take off his jumper!

So it was with much trepidation that I asked him on the first day he was there to come with my regular lunch crowd to get something to eat. You know, after all it was two and half years ago I had seen him, perhaps he was off the crack and okay now. I’m actually a very friendly person who likes to give people the benefit of the doubt, which in this case was just plain stupid and wrong! On the first day he proceeded to tell my lunch crew about the evils of sugar, why he only uses cash to buy things (he doesn’t want the government to know where he spends his money), and how big brother can see you everwhere, even underwater! Fortunately nobody blamed me, but they weren’t too keen to have him back again cause he had red lined on everybodies wierdo-meter.

Over the next month I would watch G-man not make any attempt to get to know the rest of his new collegues, but instead complain about how they talked and laughed with each other, to his manager. He requested of his manager (much to his total disbelief) that the company should build a wall-to-floor cubicle in the middle of the office just for him so he could work in silence, and also not be distracted by the view of the outside that can be seen through the panoramic windows of our walls. If this wasn’t enough, he also requested that the water cooler be moved to another floor as it was too noisey when dispensing water to a thirty workers empty cup! Maybe some of you are thinking I am making this up. Well I wish it were so, but this is really how he was.

Anyway today it all came to a head. After not getting his private cubicle, and people continuing to talk and laugh, and the water cooler not be taken to another floor, he decided to quit. He came over and said he was leaving, so I shook his hand and wished him luck for the future (because he is sure going to fucking need it)! I asked him why he was going, and he said it was because he wasn’t getting any cooperation from the company. Well yeah, I told him I understood because the water cooler never shuts up, and has a surly attitude towards people wanting a drink. He didn’t see the joke in that for some reason. About a half an hour later he packed up and left.

Now that he’s gone I wonder if G-man coming back in my life for that brief month was a sign or omen… or something. I know I have been finding life difficult for a little while, but honestly when I look at myself compared to that guy, I know that I have it easier. I mean, at least I have social skills and good way of dealing with people. I know that people also enjoy having me around in groups and enjoy it when I’m talking. G-man just seemed to radiate anti-charisma that made people not want to be around him for too long a period of time. I suppose liberal doses of crazy talk, like how the government can spy on you underwater will probably do that. I feel thankful really that as a person, I may not be the smartest guy around, but at least I know how be at ease with the world around me and make friends (if I’m actually taking applications at the time). People like G-man who are obviously very good in their academic field but who have no social skills must find it difficult to live in society because they just can’t find a niche for themselves. I can’t see how G-man’s next job is going to be any better or go any easier. I mean, at my place right now, the collegues are warm and friendly people who like to have a laugh. Sure they might be nerds and computer geeks, but they are genuinely easy people to work with who make an effort to make the working day as fun as possible (in a high stress IT environment). If G-man can’t get on with these guys, then I really wonder just who the hell he can get on with. Perhaps the best thing a company can do is stick him in a sound proof broom closet somewhere with no windows and a single light above his desk and leave him be. I actually think he would like that! Maybe he ought to try to get arrested and see if he can’t get himself put into solitary confinement in prison, it could be the perfect spot for him to do great things!

At any rate, life moves on, and probably a new wierdo will come along to take his place. I have this curse where I always have to have one really bad wierdo working with me in a workplace. I think it must have been put on my by a travelling gypsy because in my last three jobs I have had to work with some real fucking wierdos that totally test my patience to the limit. I’m a wierdo magnet, but not in a good way where I attract fun wierdo chicks with loads of tattoos that want to have loads of hot sex! No, it’s always some guy that sets my teeth on edge. Maybe I should go and visit a travelling gypsy woman and have it removed. I wonder how much that would cost, and if it’s a one visit treatment?

Padwanna!