Mentalechoes

A friend of mine took me to the Teylers Museum in Haarlem, which is north of Amsterdam by 20 minutes on the highway, to see an exhibition of Michelangelo drawings. For those of you who actually got an education which included art studies of some sort you will know he was the greatest genius of the Renaissance period. For those of you who didn’t get an education at all, now you know something you didn’t know before. But I learned something today that really surprised me; Michelango was totally gay! I mean he was so gay that he would have fit right in on a float at the Amsterdam Gay Parade.

I was surprised because he’s Italian, and I’m forever reading Cleo articles about how Italian men are the best lovers in the world. Aparently they can give women multiple orgasms just by looking into their eyes and asking them out. Between the sheets the experience is something akin to a shuttle takeoff, only over several hours. So knowing this, I was surprised when we were just starting our walk through the packed-like-a-sardine-tin 2nd gallery and my friend turned and she said to me, “You know he was gay, don’t you”?!

“Bullshit”, was my my witty retort! “He probably rooted so many serving wenches he would have been the first guy to be called the Italian Stallion”! After all, artists are known for having huge sex appeal, and there was nobody bigger in the art world at that time than him.

As we started wandering through the individual sketches and diverse anatomical drawings I began to get my first inkling that she might have been right. In all of the art I saw, all of his subjects were men; men sitting, men fighting, men flying, men laying, men on divans, men on altars, men in hell, men in heaven! Men everywhere! I did see one drawing of a woman, but she was just the barest of outlines on top, with the intricate detail being of the robe draped over her legs. The only way I knew it was a woman was because the title said, “Women with a robe”. Nary a breast outline to be seen! By the time we got to the end of the gallery I was in no doubt. The man had a definite thing for blokes. He loved a mans shape and he loved arses! Michelangelo was definitely an ass man!

The drawings themselves were of course excellent. And even being a straight guy I gained a new appreciation for mens arses, and shoulders and legs and other manly bits that you can only get from a master (gay) artists work. But for me the biggest impression of the event was still finding that he was gay! Because that means somebody in Cleo magazine was lying about the Italian guys after all!

I knew it all sounded too good to be true!

Padwanna!