So it’s my first time up in something like 5 days where I can actually sit in front of a computer and not have my head leak mucus down the front of my top like a hose, and without my pounding head feel like it’s going to rupture in a massive stroke. Which is why I haven’t been around for a while. It’s the flipside to the 10 days of almost nonstop party/social activities that I enjoyed when my friends rolled into town just before New Year.
Ahh yes, what a time it was! A one bedroom flat in Amsterdam housing 5 people for a week and a half. At times it resembled a social experiment with rats, but where the scientists thought they’d swap rats with people. Kind of like Big Brother, but without the cameras and the adoring public fanclubs.
During that period, we all managed to successfully reverse our sleeping patterns to the point where it was normal to hit the sack around 8 or 9 am, and then rise around 4pm, to get ready for whatever activities were spontaneously worked out! Normally that takes months on it’s own, but we managed it in 4 days. Modern chemistry certainly went a long way to acheiving that particular feat of endurance. We became like the Hominis Nocturnis but without all the cool vampire stuff that goes with it, like sex appeal and female groupies.
Ahhh yes, and inevitably there is also the change to the flat itself that occurs when you have people so densely packed together. Normally my flat is pretty tidy because when there is only one person, you can only make so much of a mess. Well even now after they have left, my place looks like a refugee center (slash) end of year school party venue. I can’t complain too much though, nothing really got broken except for the toilet seat, which now no longer is attached to the bowl. (Not sure how that happened yet). It just sits in the corner of the bathroom looking like modern art until I need to take a dump, in which case I carefully balance it on the toilet and then me on top of it. Certainly makes for an interesting experience where you need to be aware of your balance at all time to avoid moving around like a drunkard standing on a ships deck in high seas.
Unfortunately all good things have to come to an end and around the 7th all the mates packed up and left. I can’t believe that two days later I was down with the worst flu I have had in years. I mean I still had a week of holidays which has all been but wasted recovering from this fucking thing. Yeah well, I suppose it was always going to happen, getting a little sick afterwards, but couldn’t it have been with something a little less virulent. I can’t help but feel I am being punished by a divine entity for having sexual thoughts about girls.
Tomorrow though I am going to get out of the flat and get some air, and see if that doesn’t help that hacking cough in my chest. I have heard that being massaged by nude women helps in recovery, but in the absence of a girlfriend, I’d have to pay for that and my bank account is a bit low after the mates trip over.
At the very least, I’m back. I’ve decided this is the year where I make it big with my writing or die trying! (Which I thought was what was happening two days ago… happily I was wrong).
Hope you’re all in the best of health, and any sexy women that want to give me naked massages to help me get better, please ask for directions to my flat! 
Padwanna!
