Mentalechoes

Closure!

It’s one of those words that seems to get thrown around on Oprah a lot. Seems everybody wants closure these days. When we get closure we can put the past behind us and move on.

Well I had “closure” on Saturday; my big project at work finally got released into the production environment and made available to the world at large! It was just after midday when they flipped the switch, and cracked open the champers to celebrate. One of the bosses brought a camera along for some PR shots, and I found myself standing shoulder to shoulder with people who only a week before had called me all sorts of vile names and thrown a heap of abuse at me. Truth be told I called some of them some pretty vile names and gave abuse as good as I got, so it wasn’t really one way. But as we all stood there drinking bubbly vinegar in cheap white plastic disposable cups, I felt happy. The day of release had come and we had acheived something together. And just like that, it was all over. There was nothing more to be done!

Now I have my life back my rehabilitation begins. In the last six weeks I worked out that I have done on average 14 hours a day, and had only 4 days off. I’ve gained 5.5 kilograms in weight because I’ve done no exercise in that time and I’ve been living off takeaways and delivery shit. My waistline has expanded from a 32 back to a 34, and now most of my jeans no longer fit. My usually flat stomach now has a definite pot belly shape to it. Mates tell me that it’s “hardly noticeable”, and “not that bad”, but I get called Chunky-boy now as new nickname. I used to be able to wear tight shirts and look good, now I look like a poster boy for a weight watchers diet bar wrapper.

Maybe all that sounds like some vain shit. And maybe to some extent it is. But I come from a long line of men that all had very serious health problems linked to obesity. At 1kg/week, it doesn’t take long to get seriously fat!

I’ve also lost contact with nearly all my friends. I’ve not done any meaningful work on my creative projects I have planned out. I’ve been tired all the time, and subject to some wild mood swings. The stress has had me up at night worrying to such an extent that I haven’t been able to sleep properly. Really it hasn’t been pretty at all. If this had gone on any longer it would only have resulted in me turning myself into a wreck. Thank god I don’t have a relationship because that would be suffering right now as well!

Which makes me wonder why people become workaholics! I just don’t understand why anyone would run their life into the ground for the sake of the job itself. So many people I know work in jobs where they do the same thing year in year out that I have only had to do for six weeks. I guess that explains why they all look much older than they are, and why they are wound up tighter than a snare drum.

It seems a by-product of our modern society that so many people work long hours for demanding bosses so they can turn around and say to themselves, and others, “I have a career, and earn good money”. Is it worth it? Not for me. I’d rather have my life! I’ve seen what slavish devotion to a job gets you - absolutely fucking nothing!

So tomorrow its back to gym and back on the phone to get out and do some socialising. I wonder if anyone will remember me?!

Padwanna!