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Weekend speed
Man, did the weekend pass so quickly already?! What is it with weekends that time seems to speed up by a factor of two, making them pass by so fast you barely have a chance to register you were on a break from the nine to five routine.
Or maybe this one just seemed to go by so fast because I got shitfaced on Friday night and picked up a hangover and beginnings of a cold on Saturday, and totally got sucked into virtual reality on Sunday.
The one meaningful thing I did do was get on the phone to a close mate back home. Fuck it was great to talk to him again. He is someone who really has mastered the art of great conversation. For me there is nothing like talking to someone for a real personal chat. Email, and messaging people is good, but really, if you want to get personal, you have to talk. Anything less than talking is just so two dimensional and flat. A voice is warm and brings with it a whole bunch of layers of subtle communication that no ascii text can ever hope to emulate.
And now I go to bed with nothing but a blah-blah-blah feeling about the week ahead. I just don’t have the motivation to face it really. I’d like nothing more at this point than to just skip Monday by staying in bed sleeping and go straight to Wednesday.
I just wish there was something meaningful in my life! Not just days photocopied and redisplayed one after the other in a endless sequence with fuck all variation. It’s no wonder I go out on these excess-centric bingeing benders; at least a hangover tells me I am still alive and something different happened from the day before.
Maybe cabin fever has set in with the snow storm we had! Maybe end of project blues has finally sunk in! I think I need a few days off. I’m seriously at the fucking end of some sort of teether, I can feel it. I’ve got that the-walls-are-closing-in-on-me oppressiveness crawling over my body. Or maybe I’m drying out still from Friday nights excess.
Maybe some sleep will help.
Padwanna!
Posted: March 5th, 2006 under General Rant.
Comments: 9
Comments
Comment from Anonymous
Time: March 5, 2006, 11:41 pm
Nothing changes if nothing changes…:-))
Comment from pippi
Time: March 6, 2006, 12:36 pm
he Padwanna,
The time you wrote this is probably not the best time to see things in perspective. After a night of drinking that is, on your own behind the computer things look grim. And if they still do after the hangover is faded, it’s probably time to take action and do something about it. Or stay in bed and totally give your self over to the flue, your bed, vitamines and come out of that with new energy.
This morning at seven i was on the bike in the snow and the spring seemed far away, had to work at an school the whole day with about two hundred todlers, and after the fourth group my energy flow was low and i thought my god still five groups to go and every group i tried to give an other programme, for me to make it more interesting and for them so that it stays lively and energetic.
I guess wat i try to say is that however excinting the job seems, that the boredum is always around the corner, and it’s up to you to regocnize that don’t ignore it and act on it. Saw a very interesting movie this weekend, the cave of the yellow dog, about an Mongolian nomads familly of sheepherdels. The beatifull part about it was there interaction with, nature the earth and animals, very tranquille loving and yeah ofcourse it was romantacised. But it made me realize that living a live like that with out all the big city challanges and frustrations you can lead a pretty full live. I know for myself that i’m totally unfit for a livestyle like that. But when i’m totally sick off the big- city live i go to a very small village in the south of france to satisfy my needs. The funny thing is that when i return to Amsterdam my guards that i normally have are down, and the first junkie that asks me money and tells me he’s not going to use it for drugs i believe.
Probably something interesting will come up for you in the near futere, good luck pippi
Comment from ann
Time: March 6, 2006, 4:40 pm
Sounds familiar, because I’ve also been having this feeling lately. Time going by with little or no meaning. I’m thinking I’ll have to make some big changes soon… internal and external changes, most likely.
Comment from Anonymous
Time: March 12, 2006, 10:41 am
I wonder if I’ll ever get out of this end of project blues… At least we’re working on some good changes in the team. That will help for sure!
Nice blog btw, and I like you better with long hair, or am I biased? 
HSmade
Comment from Padwanna
Time: March 12, 2006, 12:12 pm
Hi Anon,
Yeah very err… wise in a zen kind of way. If it’s possible, you’ve been reading too much Paulo Cohelho! 
Padwanna
Comment from Padwanna
Time: March 12, 2006, 12:23 pm
Hi Pippi,
Well a couple of days off makes a big difference. I’ve had a 4 day weekend which has really helped to recharge the batteries. Things are a little more in perspective now.
I admire your ability to handle kids like you do. They wear me out just looking at them. Trying to work with them must be really draining.
That movie sounds pretty interesting, I might check that out as I like those kind of documentaries.
I also find time away in secluded places very spiritually rewarding. I’ve had a few times during travel trips where I have stayed somewhere totally isolated for 3 weeks at a time, to the point where I wouldn’t even have known if world war 3 had started. During these periods I normally would laze about reading and writing in my journal, sleeping, eating and not a lot else. It’s such a great way of really acheiving a state of deep relaxation.
Well here’s hoping the next week ahead goes well for you.
Padwanna!
Comment from Padwanna
Time: March 12, 2006, 12:24 pm
Hi Ann,
Yeah I sorta thought something was going on in your life as well by having a look at your own blog.
Change, huh! Such a funny thing, that can cause so many issues.
I’ll be following how you get on!
Padwanna!
Comment from Padwanna
Time: March 12, 2006, 12:26 pm
Hi Work Anon,
Yeah call me a skeptic, but that place we call an office is too far gone. I don’t expect anything to really change. The only question is, can I (we) live with it the way it?
Having said that, I would dearly love to be proved wrong.
Padwanna
Comment from Anonymous
Time: March 14, 2006, 5:13 am
I didn’t think it would be possible to read *too much* Paul Coelho..hehe
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