The dreaded mist

By On August 17, 2006 · 11 Comments

I can feel the approaching depression like a mist slowly starting to gather around me. Faces that are familiar and friendly start to blur and become strangers, my flat stops feeling comfortable and becomes an object of frustration and annoyance. The small every day things that used to make me smile seem like purile distractions at best, giving no real pleasure. This is the entrance to a hole that goes a long way down, and takes a long time to crawl out of.

Yet again I stand here, and I wonder, why?

Padwanna!

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The The dreaded mist by Mentalechoes, unless otherwise expressly stated, is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
 
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  • Anonymous

    I’m here if you need me.
    N

  • pippi

    Dear Padwanna,

    I’m sorry you feel that way, I can try to understand your difficulty with living hear as a foreigner. I have a lot off friends in similar situations.

    Let me tell you something me being a native Dutsch woman, i feel just as alienated in a cafe with people clinging together standing around drinking beer. Believe me you don’t want to fit in with them, i sicerely hope so, yeah they do represent a big part off the dutsch soceity. But i know there are more hospiteable people around in Holland, that like to hear different stories from different people with different backrounds.

    You don’t have to talk perfectly Dutsch to be accepted. I appreciate the effort you make.

    Don’t let your hopes fly you are an creative interesting good and funny person that contributes with his writings and personality, that’s how i see it any way knowing you by what you write that is. And please the summer will be over soon so there will be many more months to be in the dreaded mist try to enjoy it. By the way i do appreciate that you are not only a good wetter
    writer if you know what i mean.

    Its a pitty that i cannot insert pictures off the children i work with because it is not possible or is it? I think you would enjoy them.

    So Padwanna, i hope you feel better soon. What Pippi did when se was sad or depressed, she cheered herself up cooking spaghetti and eat it with scissors together with a big goup of fiends. and after that she goes on a ghosthunt on the attic, and buy out the hole candy store and share it with everyone she likes. Good luck groetjes Pippi

  • pippi

    bye the way padwanna sorry for being so moralistic trying to get you to lighten up, i allso know by heart that it is easier said then done.Really like your plan off starting an international writersgroup very interesting and inspiring. So padwanna i send you all the best and talk to you later.
    Groetjes Pippi

  • ann

    Depression sucks.

    I wish I had something more articulate for you, but those two words sum up my feelings on the subject nicely. I wish you well… and I hope you can avoid the depression.

  • Faragon

    * Faragon hands you a ladder

  • pippi

    He Padwanna,

    Wanted to write you an personal e-mail, asking you how you are. Realized that by doing that you definately would know who i am and i must say i like writing with an alias. But anyhow it’s strange i worry a bit about you and i don’t even know you by person, but i seem to get to like you by your writings. i hope you did not fall into the dreaded mist because that is definately pretty ugly. are you still busy with you’re writers- website? hope you are oke wishing you all the best groetjes pippi

  • Padwanna

    Wow… to all of you who wrote such wonderfully supportive and encouraging words. Thank you so much for taking the time to do so. It really has helped knowing that you care in your own special way.

    I just wanted to say thanks, and that I’ll write individually back to you here in a day or so. But for now I’m going to bed as it’s past 1am and it’s Monday morning coming up very soon.

    Sending out happy vibes and muchos graciases amigos! :)

    Padwanna!

  • Padwanna

    Hi Nik,

    Thanks for the really nice thought. And to think I believed you had disappeared into your new go-getter life and left me far behind! :)

    Talk soon?!

    Padwanna!

  • Padwanna

    Dearest Pip,

    Thank you very much you sweet woman for taking the time to write! I’m very touched by your caring attitude and kind supportive words. I can really see now why you do work helping others here in NL; you have a very big heart, that’s for sure.

    At any rate, I’m fine! Seriously fine! I know that there will be good days and bad days as part of how life goes, but I know that I no longer need to keep going back to that same place where for a long time there was nothing, because I felt like I had nothing.

    It’s difficult to explain, but people are as much creatures of habit as they are creatures of evolution. If we learn a certain type of behaviour in response to some kind of situation, then more than likely we will repeat that behaviour more often until it is natural to do so. Breaking these habits can be hard, but a desire to change can do it. It all comes down to how motivated you are to make that change within yourself.

    I know what you mean about Dutch people; I know that there are fun people here, and largely the reason that I don’t know that many of them is because I really don’t get out enough. But yeah, that is going to change. This is a fun city and there have to be more fun people like you in it, it just takes a bit of time looking to find them! But I will! :)

    LOL :) You do make me laugh with your desire for anonymity. It’s become a game between us now I think. But if you ever want to send me a private email and keep your mystery, then you can use an anonymous email site, like this one. http://www.advicebox.com/ That way you can write to me all the personal stuff you want and I will still not have a clue who you are! :)

    Best wishes and talk to you again soon.

    Padwanna

  • Padwanna

    Hi Ann,

    It’s very kind of you to stop by and say encouraging words. Thanks a lot, it’s really appreciated.

    And yeah, it’s all okay! Life will be fine!

    Read you soon,

    Padwanna!

  • Padwanna

    Hi Faragon,

    I think it might have worked. :)

    Padwanna!

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