Mentalechoes

It is complete now. Two ends of time are neatly tied…

– Andy Priebo, “Tomorrow Wendy”.

I came full circle today. A year ago it started, today it ended. I could talk about all the reasons why, but in the end, what does it matter who’s right and who’s wrong when we both lose everything we had together?! A broken heart doesn’t know logic, only feelings. And there were so many feelings. But that time of life is now over, and so I’m going to draw the curtain on it and let it become part of my past gracefully, because knowing when to let go is just as important as knowing when to fight and hold on.

It’s kind of surprisingly though that right now an old friend from my past has arrived back in the country.  He was pretty much my first friend here in Amsterdam when I moved to this city. Back then Sime and I were just another couple of hedonistic pleasure seekers come to the city of sin in search of vice. Fate would have it that he and I got a job in the same foreigner run european company in the World Trade Center (in Amsterdam, The Netherlands; for those of you who might not understand that Europe has a couple as well), and soon after meeting we became pretty tight friends. Well about 3 years ago Sime left for parts unknown in a monster truck with his then girlfriend (now wife), a laptop computer with a ton of music on it, and a big multinational conglomerate about 2 steps behind with a demand that he pay back the 8 months of contractor wages he was paid, when he wasn’t even working there. Luckily he got out of town in time and enjoyed a further 8 months travelling around lovely Europe from top to bottom with the conglomerates donations. Now he and his wife are back with their new born baby son in tow, for a six month stint in Den Haag, and I’m going to go down there and catch up with him. It’ll be funny that first meeting, I mean, he’s the same ole Sime, but at the same time, Sime with a kid and wife and a middle aged lifestyle. So maybe things have changed! Well, knowing him, I really doubt it, but I sure am looking forward to finding out.

I reckon though, that as tempting as the lure is of a middle aged lifestyle amongst decent people can be, it’s still not something I see myself doing. No, I think instead I’ll end up being this old hedonist, who’s life is populated with stories that come straight out of a Bukowski novel, that shocks some and entertains others. It’s a path that definitely seems to be taking form in front of me.

Padwanna!