Mentalechoes

There seems to be a lot of angst in the world when it comes to male-female relationships. Since the time of the first homosapiens - those monkeys who actually could think enough to get confused about what their fuckbuddy was complaining about - it seems both sides have been trying to work each other out. In one of my long term relationships my girlfriend at the time bought us a copy of "Mars and Venus, Together Forever", by the (in)famous Dr John Gray; a self proclaimed expert in the field of human relations. He's so good at helping people understand their partners, he's even invented the Marsvenus Super Shake for Men and Women, available on the internet of course at exhorbitant prices. My girlfriend thought it would help us understand each other, but after I did some reading on the same internet where I could buy the shakes, I found out ole Johnny's Ph.D is about as legitmate as my claiming to be the next heir to the English throne. Needless to say, this didn't help us resolve any of our mars and venus issues but instead created a few more. I am still waiting for Mr Gray Ph.D to reply back to my strongly worded letter and request for our money back, concerning this.

It seems to me, after many years in and out of relationships that most of them can be categorised in the relationship box labelled - Suicidal Murderous Co-dependency. If you're like me and you live in a foreign country, then the box will be additionally labelled - Cross Cultural Suicidal Murderous Co-dependency. Sure relationships are not always like this, after all there are lots of happy times as well where you feel really happy, but how many times have you ever felt like you could throw yourself out a window, or throw them out the window because they were driving you absolutely fucking nuts? I'd bet anyone who's been in a serious relationship wouldn't have enough fingers and toes to count with.

I was curious to know if anyone famous, like the good Doctor Johnny had written any articles about this sort of relationship type. However, to my complete surprise the only hits that came back on a google search of "suicidal murderous codependent relationships" was a bunch of disparate links that had nothing to do with relationships, except for something to do with lesbians, but that turned out to be a movie review I think. Strange! There wasn't even a band named that, which I thought odd because that would be a wicked band name. I'd pay to see them just because of that. Sadly it seems that there isn't any real advice on relationships out there for the masses apart from Dr John Gray, which seems a bit dubious at best.

So I'm thinking now that I might go into the relationship counselling book publishing market. After all, if someone like John Gray can make more money than God writing books that don't address real relationships, maybe I can fill in the gap, save some relationships and make a fuck ton of money at the same time. I've had plenty of experience at relationships, and so all I need to do is buy a Ph.D online from some reputable university, and write fifty thousand words about how to avoid killing yourself or each other in your loving and nurturing relationship.

I'm taking preorders if anyone wants a signed copy!

Padwanna!