Ikea makes me feel middle aged

Today I found myself in Ikea again. My friend kindly offered to drive me there when I complained for the umpteenth time about not having a desk lamp that worked; not having a sharp bread knife; not having a sharp vegetable knife; and not having any more Ikea soap (the stuff that smells nice and makes my skin feel soft and is cheap has hell when you buy it by the liter). So off we went on a casual Sunday drive… at a little over 130 kilometers an hour, because my friend doesn’t really like to do slow comfortable drives unless she absolutely has to, to the Ikea in the south of Amsterdam.

Immediately inside, I got this feeling again of being really middle age old! I was surrounded by families and kids of all shapes and sizes, and couples deep into the nesting phase with each other. Jezuz… at one point it almost became too much to bear, I swear my skin started to smoke and turn black! I could only handle about 10 minutes in the kitchenware department before I had to get out, the pain was starting to get too much. Particularly watching the other men around me, with youth and life sucked out of them – probably through their eyeballs by a womans evil spell – to be replaced by a broken will and Ikea kitchen goods.

Fortunately 10 minutes was still long enough to get a six peice stay sharp knife collection in a handy plastic holder that is really quite stylish. Not too mention a great deal on two white plastic cutting boards which on their own was a wicked buy, but taken with the knives was truly excellent. To top it off, I also got a fabo replacement desk lamp in white decor, and about 3 liters of soap. For a total of 35 euro, it was as good a bargain as you can get this side of the Anjuna open field markets in Goa.

I wouldn’t mind going to Ikea a little more often to replace some of the very old items in my flat that look like they have outlived their usefulness – in some cases, a half a decade ago. But the place makes me feel so damn middle aged in an old way, I just can’t bring myself to go there more than once every half a year or so, otherwise I would start to visibly age and lose my hair like all the rest of the regulars.

Hip people who look young (even when they are my age) go somewhere else to shop for these things, but as yet, I haven’t found out where. But they have to, otherwise how do they manage to be so hip?

Andy.

Tags: ikeakitchen, shopping, knives

The Ikea makes me feel middle aged by Mentalechoes, unless otherwise expressly stated, is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.