Mentalechoes

So I arrived home after a busy but fruitful Sunday at work, and decided to flip on the TV for some background noise while I did a bit of light browsing to cool down and relax. Without paying any attention at all, I somehow found the E! Entertainment channel and a show about Ali Lohan’s attempt to become a recording star. Now if you’re struggling with the name, Ali Lohan is Lindsey Lohan’s sister! Don’t worry, I had no idea she had a sister either before the show came on. The Lohan family is the picture perfect American Hollywood family; rich as fuck and not a hint of brains anywhere. Plenty of cosmetic surgery though, Mum Lohan has been worked over so many times she’s starting to look like Skeletor with chemical blonde hair.

Like a car crash, I didn’t want to look, but something inside me felt compelled to stare. I sat through some truly horrible segments of Ali in the studio singing (as in strangling a cat), with her producer shouting encouragement on the other side of the glass. A lot of times Ali put her face in her hands and said, Gawd I’m so awful! Which I gave her a lot of credit for recognising, because she was awful, and a lot of people wouldn’t admit that on TV. I know I wouldn’t! On and on it dragged; little Ali at one point in the bedroom crying she was too tired to go into the studio, then next minute mummy skeletor is explaining to some studio exec he has to take easy on her that day and not push too hard. He’s nodding very distractedly, making you think he’s not listening to her at all, but replaying some porn clip in his head involving two german shepherds and a midget.

At last I came to a point where enough was enough, and I had to change channels. Little Ali was was complaining it wasn’t fair how she was in the studio all day when mummy skeletor and the she-bitch sister were out having fun all day at the pool. Jezuz H Krist, some girls would sell their own mothers for one afternoon in a studio, and a chance at stardom, and this spoilt brat was making it sound like it was a chore! I had to change the channel before I risked pissing on the TV in defiant protest of her crap she was!

But it had me wondering, why is it we have this stupid fascination for celebrities? When I say we, I mean we as a culture. There is something about the western Americanised societies that we idolise and adore these icons of stupidity. I have no idea why, and even me, a sane individual with a love of documentaries and midget porn, falls pray to the lure of their mysterious appeal.

Something is wrong somewhere!

Andy.

Tags: celebritylove, ali lohan