The internet is here to stay, and that means so are MMO’s (MMORPG’s, MUSH’s, MUD’s, and any other M*&^’s you can think of). You’d think then that with the internet being as mainstream as electricity and shampoo that everyone would know about MMO’s. Right?!

Wrong!

Just the other day I was chatting with a really close friend – who just happens to be a girl, but which shouldn’t be an indicator that I’m about to say something sexist – about World of Warcraft. I was telling her that my troll hunter spoke with a Caribbean accent and had three fingers, which for some reason caused her to break out into hysterical laughter. I was a bit baffled by this to be honest, because my troll hunter (who just celebrated his 5th birthday yesterday – yes WoW turned 5) has always had an accent that makes women melt, and only three fingers ever since he was born (generated).

So I took it upon myself to educate the young lady about the vast and untameable virtual worlds that occupy vast spaces on the internet. Their history spanning back to the dawn of the network digital age, and their breadth extending across the globe to all corners of the real world. MMO’s were the first addiction digital addiction of the true gamer geek, and shall be the last. They shall stand the test of time and always be with us. You could almost argue that MMO’s are the one true purpose of the internet. After all, the perpetuation of MMO’s has spurred the development of virtual realities; virtual realities are the purpose of the internet. Worlds within worlds; realities within realities; mirror images of mirrors.

Very eloquent stuff, but she didn’t get any of it. In fact she started yawning at the half way point, and then got up and walked away at the end. Needless to say it totally went over her head, and she forgot about my troll, his accent, and how many fingers he had, like so much useless yesterdays news.

Really it showed me that being a gamer geek is really like having a special set of genes that make you that kind of person, just like for being tall, or Asian, or a midget. If you have the gamer gene, you’ll get it. If you don’t, then about all you’ll get is bored and frustrated at the weird person who won’t shut up about his troll.

Which makes me wonder why some geneticist doesn’t go look for it, and then offer it in a box of pills for money.

“Do you suck at gaming? Need to impress a boyfriend who leads a double life as a troll? Then buy IGOTGAME capsules and show them you’re not a totally pussy!”

I should do marketing for a job!

Andy.