I hate email; or email spam that isn’t spam

On November 23, 2009, In Internet Rant, By Andy

These days I’m becoming increasingly more frustrated with email as a communication tool. My inbox and related subfolders are absolutely FULL of stuff that isn’t spam, but which I’m starting to consider spam. Things like emails from social networks that you might have signed up for long ago but don’t use anymore, and no matter how many times you try to unsubscribe they still email you, and I still don’t mark them as spam. Then there is the torrent of emails coming in from all the social networks and various entertainment, online shopping, reference, ridiculous, why-was-that-interesting sites that I registered to over the course of the past five years. All their marketing shit comes in, and my filters just can’t keep up, so consequently it ends up in my inbox. It’s not really spam because they’re online services I do technically use, and some of them I even willingly signed on for newsletter updates, but it just never ends.

Now the few emails I get from friends, who have all moved over to Facebook and Twitter for keeping in touch and sending out updates, all get lost in this other stream of spam-but-not-spam. I could spend the next two weeks diligently putting in new filters to move all the crap stuff to folders where I won’t have to look at it, but then now matter how diligent I am, it’s really fighting a losing a battle; or trying to empty water from a boat that’s leaking like a sieve.

What to do?

I’m considering giving up on email entirely. After all, nearly all of the friends that I communicate with have moved to either Twitter or Facebook. The ones that don’t write regularly (some of them with the frequency of a corpse) still use email. I could cut my losses and just never talk to these people again, but then, I do like some of these people quite a lot and it would be a terrible thing – much like clubbing a baby seal to death – to just abandon them because they don’t fit my communication profile anymore.

Having said that, my gmail account, which is a clearing house for around 15 different email addresses is just one big junk box with a sparse few emails that I think are worthwhile and make me happy to read. It’s insane that in this day and age of putting a robot tractor thingy on Mars that I can’t filter my email and make it work for me like it did 8 years ago. It seems the older email gets the more frustrating it gets, the more I wish I didn’t have to use it at all. I’ve been on Wave now for a couple of weeks and while it shows promise, it’s definitely not there yet for a communication tool, and when it is it will probably suffer from the same problem as email now.

No, this problem won’t go away until it’s solved; a lot like testicular cancer, and just about as painful. Maybe I too should make the jump completely over the fence to the Twitter/FB groupies and give up email altogether. I bet if I did that, then in a week I wouldn’t even miss email. Or maybe notice that I miss email. That seems just as likely. Maybe this isn’t even my problem to solve as I didn’t invent email, I just use it. Somebody else should be held accountable.

Well whoever is to blame, the fact remains that I hate email, and I the only reason I use it is because of hangers-on types that insist still on using it. So while I will continue to use email so as to not alienate them, doesn’t mean I like the sound of fingernails being dragged down the blackboard.

Andy.

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Bookmarks; and how you know what you liked six months ago

On March 28, 2009, In Internet Rant, By Andy

I’m a pretty online kinda guy. I wouldn’t go so far as to give myself a geek label because that doesn’t do anything to improve my image with women, but if I lived on a planet with no women I would probably be called a geek. The funny thing about being a geek is that you tend to keep a lot of bookmarks in browsers scattered across various computers between work, home and the odd strangers house you managed to get some laptop time in. To the untrained eye – or less net savvy individual – this collection of links is just a quick way to find favourite websites (hence the term Favourites). (Right now there may be one or two of you tempted to nod your heads and say, yeah but that’s what they are. If you are, slap yourself, because this is wrong). No, bookmarks are windows into a geeks cultural identity; they will tell you what they like and don’t like, and what phases and fads they went through in days, months, years gone past. You can pretty much take all those Favourites links and work out what kind of person they are better than any psychologist armed with a completed Rorschach test.

This became very apparent to me during the week when I migrated all my own bookmarks from the seven computers I use with regularity, and the ones I had in an online bookmark service, all into another online bookmark service (called delicious.com for those interested). I had something like 550 links in total which amazed me to start with, and then amazed me more just seeing what kind of things I had actually bothered to favourite since 2002. I went through periods of being into linux, goth chix, 80’s t-shirts, 80’s music, Annie Lennox, digital cameras, cheap airfares to India, xbmc, crappy blogs *cough cough*, bittorrent, more goth chix, mmorpgs galore, cheap chinese blank cds, russian brides, paranoid cryptoware, and a whole lot more. I did wonder what some psychologist would have made of it all, especially if I had’ve done a Rorschach test with him and said all the pictures looked like vaginas.

I spent about 4 to 5 hours tidying all of the bookmarks up, removing all the ones that had become roads to nowhere, and were from phases I just wasn’t ever going to go through again, like applying for jobs with secret service agencies in every country in the free world (no kidding, I had tons of application forms bookmarked in their own category). In doing so, I got down to 173 quality bookmarks that I think represents the new modern me, and which anyone else would think represents someone in the new electro-bohemian class of society. It’s almost a fitting way to make an online introduction really; swapping bookmark collections to see how compatible you are, and whether or not you should make a date, or block that person to hell. Personally I know if I meet a girl with 100 Favourites in the “Cats” category, I’m heading for the door, and I’m not looking back!

So in the new modern online era our choice of bookmarks define us as much as our choice of furniture, music, movies and porn. All of which would be bookmarks in their own right. Which in the end, really makes my point for me.

:)

Andy.

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Mandatory ISP (monitoring) filtering, the rebellion begins

On December 8, 2008, In Internet Rant, By Andy

So it seems that the stupidest idea of the century in Australian political circles has in fact gotten a lot of my fellow citizens a tad hot under the collar. By stupidest idea, I am in fact talking about the Australian Governments plan to introduce mandatory filtering of the internet at the ISP level to protect the innocent minds of the youth today. I had originally thought that my beer guzzling, rugby league watching, beach loving countrymen were too busy at their barbequeues to really care, but it appears I was completely wrong. Tomorrow there is going to be an organised series of demonstrations across the major cities in protest.

You know I’m not one to get sentimental or homesick, but hearing news of the protest marches has made feel proud to be an Australian, and I’m tinged with regret that I’m not there to participate. This is the kind of thing that I really enjoy getting a kick out of!

By the look of the it the government has more trouble on it’s hands than it had probably thought. I’ve seen organised legal actions from major ISPs being presented to the government. Endless newspaper reports and editorals that damn the proposal, and now community based protest actions. As much as the Australian Government likes to think it can do what it want without the folk caring, they really can’t. And once you’ve pissed an Australian citizen off, there is no end to their capacity for rebellious action.

I’ll be keenly following where this story goes.

Andy.

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Australia leveraging the internet to become a dictatorship

On November 23, 2008, In Internet Rant, By Andy

Before I start this rant, I want you to know that I am an Australian and I love my country. Which is why I get so incensed when I see “The Government” doing stuff in my name as an – expat – citizen that is, firstly just plain fucking stupid, and secondly going further down a road of removing freedom and liberty, the end of which is essentially a fascist regime.

“Holy shit, Andy! That’s a lot of big sounding words. Just what the fuck are you on about”? I hear some of you ask in the peanut gallery. Which I will say is a very good question. I’m really fucking on about two things in particular.

The Australian Internet ISP Filter

and

The Australian Anti-Terrorism Act 1995 (aka The Patriot Act)

Now for those of you who don’t just read news, but actually think about what you are reading – something I find is getting harder and harder for the cattle class in our society despite the access to information we now have due to the internet – these two things together should terrify you. One of these government initiatives gives them the ability to control the information Australians will have access to, and the other gives them the right to remove from the public anyone that disagrees with it. You know who else does this, don’t you? China, Indonesia, North Korea, Pakistan. In fact any fascist dictatorship regime who controls its citizens from the top down by restricting the flow of information, and making it illegal to disagree and publicly protest against the regime.

Okay, so I can hear a few dissenting voices up the back, saying I’m wrong, and that I’m being an overreactionary. Australia isn’t China, our Government isn’t going to take away our lifestyle, or the good stuff on the internet, like Youtube, and Facebook.

And I would say to you that, you’re right, they won’t take it away, today. But what about in thirty years? Fascist regimes aren’t made overnight. Those people in China didn’t wake up one day and all of a sudden they were communist. Communist China started with the small civil revolt called Autumn Harvest Uprising on September 7, 1927! From this point, to a time where the whole country had transitioned to a new mode of governmental rule based on absolutism was over two to three decades. And by then all information was controlled and dissent was made illegal.

Very interesting word that, “dissent”. Someone who vocalises a dissenting opinion is labelled a dissenter. Dissenters who are very vocal all the time and challenge institution, doctrine or policy are regarded as dissidents! And that is a label with particularly extreme negative connotations in any society. These two Australian government initiatives are at the very foundation of removing dissident opinion in Australia.

Hardly any Australian has read the Patriot Act – here is a link to it – which in my mind is criminal on the governments part. Something as heinous as this should have been made mandatory reading in school, and offices, and broadcast on the radio. If more Australians new what was contained in that, maybe it wouldn’t have become law. The highlights of this can be summarised as follows – any individual can be declared a criminal, without supporting evidence, and held indefinitely by authorities without access to legal aid, or financial aid. Any personal belongs and assets can be confiscated by the government, including all financial, communication, and travel historical records. This can be done at any time, to anyone!

So here’s a scenario; today the government manages to remove child porn from Australia’s internet. People are happy, the filtering is seen as a good thing, support increases, and the vocal dissenters are told to shut up. Next they remove all porn, and while a good portion of society would protest, the majority would support it, and so it would happen. Dissenting opinions would marginalised, and sidelined. Then in the name of National Security, access to internet television broadcasts of Al Jezeera would be added to the list of blocked content. But this is a good thing most people would say, because it’s an Arabic network, and that’s where the terrorist come from, or so your average Bruce Beergut in the pub would be told by his government approved broadcasts. Then a few years later, a slew of independent and foreign news sources, both internet and traditional print would be shut down or blocked, on the pretence of being dissenting opinions targetting The Government, and deemed harmful to the public. School ciriculum is changed, so that the Government party opinion is taught as being the only valid opinion. Where really, valid means legal. Ten years on, some freedoms are taken away, but everyone agrees that life isn’t so bad, so there isn’t any need to change things. The Government is already monitoring email, phone calls, and web browsing of individuals, so they can act on it, and start shutting down blogs from individuals that cry foul, and demand to be heard. These citizens have their ability to communicate, and disseminate information removed forcibly, and noone hears from them again. Time passes, and soon the only news that is heard is from the Government friendly (and policed) internet, and print media. Everyone accepts that they are monitored all the time, and that it is a crime to speak out against their “regime”. Terrorism doesn’t exist as an act, but as a concept that has been burned into our brains through decades of Government sponsored propoganda. The word itself becomes a control mechanism that itself terrifies citizens, and provides the justification for all and any actions The Government takes. But by then, nobody can say a word, because if you do, you won’t be heard from again!

If you’ve made it this far, and you think it won’t happen, and this is just some paranoid rant, I dare you to go and read the Patriot Act for yourself, and see for yourself what they can do in the name of The Government of Australia. And then go and find out what The Government actually means by, bad content, for this ISP filtering exercise. You won’t find one, because they haven’t defined it yet. And they won’t tell you because they will want to keep it very very quiet. The less known, the better for them.

Where does it all end?

Makes you wonder doesn’t it!

Andy.

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Jericho rant part II; the power of the ivory tower (people)!

On August 4, 2008, In Internet Rant, By Andy

Following on with yesterdays rant about Jericho being taken off the air because a few CBS execs high up in a high-rise office decided it was a failure. I came across a very interesting article from a Jericho fan who wasn’t prepared to sit back and watch the show die a natural death. This individuals name is Jason Moore, and he produced a television advertisement with funding from the Jericho community to help stir the TV masses into action. In a blog post article, Jason talked about how television shows are considered successes or failures.

Right, and from what I understand, there are like 5,000 Nielsen boxes that determine what every person in this country gets to watch and that just seems grossly unfair. It’s not a true representation of how we view television now.

Even more than that, the thing about when Jericho returned, every week that Jericho was on, for that week, Jericho would have the number one spot on iTunes. It would usually be in the top five on Amazon.com, and we were watching the Tivo numbers – it was always in the top 15 shows on television……….yet Nielsen was indicating we were a failure.

Why do we have to go by numbers from a system that was devised before the internet was even a thought in someone’s mind? I think that’s why we’re fighting. Some are fighting just to get Jericho back. But I think some of us – and I fall into this group – are fighting to change how decisions are made in the television industry.

When I read this I was amazed, I couldn’t comprehend that a modern entertainment company would actually dismiss internet distribution to determine show ratings. But it’s true, the Neilsen system was devised in 1940, and although updated – they say – since it’s inception, one of the largest distribution chains is ignored. To say this system is flawed, is akin to calling World War II a minor inconvenience!

He finishes the interview with this statement.

For all of us, it has been a time consuming thing, but at the same time we feel like we’re really making a difference, not just for one television show but hopefully in the long run for the television industry in general. For that it’s worth it.

And that my friends, is precisely why I – and you should – download content from the internet, and watch almost nothing on broadcast TV! The only way the power of the people who decide for you, what you will watch, when you will watch it, will be broken is by removing yourself from their equation, and putting yourself into another one. If enough people stop watching traditional broadcast shows, and start using interactive internet television, we will all arrive to the new world very quickly.

Andy.

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HSN; it gets in your head, and it does things to you!

On July 24, 2008, In Internet Rant, By Andy

For those readers who live in the US, they will be familiar with a television channel called “HSN”, or “Home Shopping Network”. For the last two weeks at work I’ve had near lethal doses of viewing because we’re trialling a broadcast of the channel on our IPTV service. On any given day I’ve been passively watching anywhere between four and six hours of plastified glorified snakeoil salespeople flogging everything from, genuine imitation looks-cheap-and-is-cheap jewellery, all the way through to DIY exercise equipment that requires only one minute a day to transform you from fucking ugly, to gorgeous.

I’ve noticed over time though that the voices of the presenters gets in your head, and you start hearing things. I get urges sometime to pick up the phone and call the number for the Estebaan Guitar, including 5 DVD instruction set, plus the 5 CD best-of-Estebaan no extra cost gift. For USD$204.99, not including postage and handling, you feel compelled… COMPELLED I TELL YOU, to buy it!

I’m convinced there is something like subliminal messaging happening on HSN, and probably TV in general. How else can you explain how people are brainwashed into buying complete crap, that you in your right mind, would never want, or consider pissing on, let alone buying!

Now having said that, I really think I’ve put off buying the Estebaan Guitar Set for long enough. Where’s my phone?

Andy.

 
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Social network sites; here today, gone tomorrow?

On June 23, 2008, In Internet Rant, By Andy

A very good friend of mine from back home whose name I won’t mention (but it begins with L and she lives on the Gold Coast), sent an email out to all in her contacts list, that went something like this:

Hellloooooo everyone,
Just letting you know that I’ve deactivated my Facebook account.

It has simply become boring (Yes, Andy, you were right; I lost interest, LOL!) and a time waster for me, and I really don’t have time to waste right now. Too busy with real life, LOL!

Right, well it was more or less exactly like that! I didn’t want to be accused of misinterpreting her message, so it seemed easier to quote it verbatim to support what I’m going to say next.

Social networking sites are pretty much a waste of time! In fact the term Social Network Fatigue has been coined to describe the chore that these things become when stacked next to each other in your browser tabs, after the initial euphoria is over.

A very few social networks serve a specific purpose that is useful. Business and professional association sites like linkedin.com and plaxo.com are examples. But the vast majority of these social network sites that exist are like fashion fads; look like a lot of fun and are very hip for a while, and then discarded never to be used again. Now before you say, “Facebook” and point to it like it’s the answer to everything great and amazing in the universe of social networks. Look at how finnicky we are with sites like Orkut, and Live Space to name just a few. Their numbers wax and wane like the tides and nobody counts on them being around in six months from now. Nobody with money to invest that’s for sure. But Facebook is an enigma for a social network because it’s worth over 12 billion, but their business model is based on selling 1 dollar vaporware articles. Beats the shit out of a lot of people how that works, me included. For sure though, nobody is going to give you an even bet that in five years from now Facebook will still be around.

The reality with social network sites is that they are all eye candy, with very little substance behind them. For a while they are very flashy and fun, but all too shortly after joining, their real worth becomes evident. Unless they are helping you with finding a job, or staying in touch with people that you actually do know as friends in the real world, they are just one more distraction in a browser full of blinging distractions. Now there is nothing wrong with a little bling bling to give you something new to coo over, and drop into a conversation about cool new stuff you found while browsing around one afternoon at work. But as with all things better described as fads, they never last. So I’m wondering if all these social networks are just something useless on the internet evolutionary ladder on the way to something useful we haven’t seen yet. Sort of like the dodo becoming a chicken. Which of course it did, and they have my thanks for it!

Andy.

 
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No internet; life stops

On September 28, 2005, In Internet Rant, By admin

Well, my internet has been cutoff because I am 3 months overdue on my account. You would think after being a loyal customer for 4 years that my ISP would cut me some slack over a couple of missed payments… but no. I got chopped last night at midnight. I was out at the time saying goodbye to a friend at some farewell drinks so the first I heard about it was when I got home and my flatmate says to me, ‘the internet’s fucked, hope you didn’t need it’! In fact I do need it, pretty much my whole communication and awareness of the outside world is based around it. Jezuz… I can’t even blog without, so when it goes down, it’s an international incident and needs to be remedied pronto. So I’m a bit like a digital Robinson Carusoe right now; isolated in the world and without any contact with anyone except my Man Friday in the flat who’s mostly stoned most of the time.

So what does one do in the digital age without internet? I guess I’ll find out tonight.

Padwanna.

 
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An era coming to an end

On July 13, 2005, In Internet Rant, By admin

Ever since I got a free account of one of my companies products which lets me see – among other things – how many people visit my site, I’ve had the nagging feeling that it is time to hang up my old domain, and start again. The reason I feel this is because my current domain really doesn’t mean jack-shit! (That’s Aussie slang for: doesn’t mean a thing; has little or no relevance or significance.) It was my first one, and I was in a bit of a hurry to come up with a name so I could get on with the technical details of making the site. I actually got it from a joke that one of my mates told me years ago, which made me laugh then… and still makes me laugh now! Heh heh… just thinking about it makes me chuckle. :-)

Okayyyyy… moving right along.

Well, since that time 5 years ago (I can’t believe its been so long) I’ve changed and now I want something that more reflects me. I want a domain that says something about who I am; that captures the essence of my unique personality and view of the world. Boy, I can tell you it aint fucking easy, that’s for sure! My fabo mate Glenno gave me a technique for helping with creative endeavours like this. He said, write down about 30 words on a peice of paper over the course of a couple of weeks and then try combinations of them, which in turn will spark other combinations not in those 30 words. The end result being a cool domain name. Well, I’ve got about 60 words and a ton of other combinations not using those words, and what really shits me is, the one I really like is already taken. Still not all is lost, I have a lot of close seconds, but trying to pick one from the list is going to be a lucky dip more than a formal choice. Glen says to be patient and wait till the right one comes up, but patience isn’t a virtue of mine, I doubled up on flash-in-the-pan enthusiasm instead! Still for once I am going to try not to rush things and do something properly. Admirable of me I know! One thing is certain however, a new domain is coming, and with it a new identity, and new look. One that will make me taller, lose weight, and become more attractive to the opposite sex, all in less than 3 minutes a day!

So the end is coming swiftly for an era that was bright and fun, yet a bit meaningless from my heady days of youth. A new age will dawn thereafter, hopefully with a little more significance, and attention from the world at large!

Don’t worry though my faithful fans (all 3 of you :-) , I will give you plenty of notice to update your bookmarks!

Padwanna!

 
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The wonders of the web

On May 18, 2005, In Internet Rant, By admin

Well strangely enough, I’ve had this blogger account for like, two years or something. It’s one of those events lost in memory that was so significant at the time of creation I thought it would lead on to greater things. Alas it did not… until now.

After making my first blog yesterday at work, I figured, why not try and add these wise rantings to my website, so others besides myself could chuckle at them! Yes, a sound idea, and one that I didn’t think would be too much trouble to ‘make it so’. I struggled around with a few funky technical ideas, all of which didn’t pan out as well I had hoped, so I decided to run with something simple… just putting the blog on a page of its own. In the end it turned out to be simple and functional, just like womens sex toys, so who am I to go against the tried and tested.

I just hope someone reads this thing to make the minutes of effort all worth it!

Padwanna

 
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